It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
