I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
