i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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