He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
