Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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