And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
