its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I AM VODKA MAN
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
