Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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