Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
