Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
