Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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