I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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