dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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