I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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