I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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