So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
