Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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