i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
