Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
