Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
