in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
