i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
