i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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