it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This toilet bowl is my home.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
