That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
