do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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