im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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