Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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