..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
