Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We were destined to go to rehab together
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
