i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
