its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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