My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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