I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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