Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
