its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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