What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
