OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
