is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
