i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Floor bacon is actually really good
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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