So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
