ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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