dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
