Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
