sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
