this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
