I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
