I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
