so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
