you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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