If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
