Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
