i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
