Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
